{"id":5,"date":"2020-04-29T22:18:45","date_gmt":"2020-04-29T22:18:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/renewinglife.net\/grief-and-loss\/"},"modified":"2024-12-17T19:02:10","modified_gmt":"2024-12-17T19:02:10","slug":"grief-and-loss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/renewinglife.net\/renewing-life-center-blog\/grief-and-loss\/","title":{"rendered":"Grief and Loss"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"sqs-html-content\">\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">My father passed away in January of this year.&nbsp; He was 74 years old and fought a long, hard battle with multiple myeloma.&nbsp; We had been praying that he would have a bone marrow transplant this Spring, but his life ended before the transplant was scheduled. &nbsp;Grief is a slippery sucker!&nbsp; Just when you think you are ok you realize you are not.&nbsp; For me, this happens at strange and unplanned times.&nbsp; I\u2019ll hear a song or think of a memory or see someone who resembles my dad and I\u2019ll get sideswiped by sadness.&nbsp; My mom still hasn\u2019t changed the voicemail on her phone, so when she misses one of my calls, I get greeted by my dad\u2019s cheery voice asking me to leave a message.&nbsp; It surprises me every time and leaves me longing for his presence.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a book called, \u201cOn Death and Dying.\u201d&nbsp; In it she described five stages of grief.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul data-rte-list=\"default\">\n<li>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">Denial<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">Anger<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">Bargaining<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">Depression<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">Acceptance.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">It\u2019s a great baseline for understanding the different emotions and feelings experienced in grief.&nbsp; The first stage is denial.&nbsp; This is where confusion, fear, shock and avoidance set in.&nbsp; You simply cannot believe the person is gone.&nbsp; The next stage is anger.&nbsp; You are frustrated, irritated and full of anxiety.&nbsp; You are mad!&nbsp; Bargaining follows where you struggle to find meaning, reach out to others and tell your story.&nbsp; The fourth stage is depression where you feel overwhelmed, helpless, hostile and want to run.&nbsp; Emotional support is vital during the bargaining and depression stages.&nbsp; You need the love and care of others to help you move through these stages.&nbsp; The final stage is acceptance where you learn how to move on in a healthy way.&nbsp; New plans are made and options are explored.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">I\u2019ve found that the grieving process isn\u2019t a linear pattern where you follow the different stages in numerical order.&nbsp; Instead it\u2019s a fluid journey that vacillates somewhere between denial and acceptance without boundaries.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">Every person\u2019s grieving journey will be different.&nbsp; Are you grieving?&nbsp; Be patient and kind to yourself.&nbsp;&nbsp; Ask for help.&nbsp; Do you know someone who is grieving?&nbsp; Ask them how you can help.&nbsp; Be available to them.&nbsp; One of the greatest gifts you can give someone who is grieving is to simply show up.&nbsp; My dad coached my little brother\u2019s soccer team for over 10 years.&nbsp; When his assistant coach and some of the players learned of my dad\u2019s passing, a group of them drove 12 hours to attend his funeral.&nbsp; This was such a gift to my family.&nbsp; Childhood friends flew across the country and others traveled across state lines to support us.&nbsp; They expressed their love by simply showing up.&nbsp; And it meant the world to us.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">\u201cDear children,&nbsp;let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth\u201d (1 John 3:18).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My father passed away in January of this year.&nbsp; He was 74 years old and fought a long, hard battle [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-renewing-life-center-blog"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Grief and Loss - Renewing Life Center<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/renewinglife.net\/renewing-life-center-blog\/grief-and-loss\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Grief and Loss - Renewing Life Center\" \/>\n<meta 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