{"id":304,"date":"2022-05-11T16:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-05-11T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/renewinglife.net\/warning-toxic\/"},"modified":"2024-12-17T19:02:00","modified_gmt":"2024-12-17T19:02:00","slug":"warning-toxic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/renewinglife.net\/renewing-life-center-blog\/warning-toxic\/","title":{"rendered":"Warning: Toxic!"},"content":{"rendered":"<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
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Did you know the Oxford Dictionary annually names a \u201cWord of the Year\u201d?<\/p>\n

In 2018 it was \u2026 toxic.<\/p>\n

I know there are several things that might be considered toxic: certain chemicals, oils, spicy foods! But I want to talk to you about toxic people<\/em>. You know who I\u2019m talking about. The person who cares only about themselves instead of others but feels like they\u2019re a victim of others. The person who talks instead of listens and who tries to control others. The person who is often dramatic and demanding, probably adversarial, and who lacks boundaries. I wonder if some people are coming to mind.<\/p>\n

Dr. Gregory Jantz lists the most common types of toxic people:<\/p>\n

–       The Deceiver<\/p>\n

–       The Control Freak<\/p>\n

–       The Gaslighter<\/p>\n

–       The Angry Venter<\/p>\n

–       The Know-It-All<\/p>\n

–       The Intimidator<\/p>\n

–       The Egoist<\/p>\n

–       The Drama Queen or Crisis King<\/p>\n

–       The Put-Down Artist<\/p>\n

–       The Moral Authority<\/p>\n

–       The Emotional Roller Coaster<\/p>\n

–       The Pessimist<\/p>\n

–       The Guilter<\/p>\n

–       The Addict<\/p>\n

Why are toxic people toxic? According to Dr. Jantz, there\u2019s typically some combination of these five factors:<\/p>\n

1.     They enjoy it<\/p>\n

2.     They learned it from their family of origin<\/p>\n

3.     They benefit from it in some way<\/p>\n

4.     They never emerged from emotional adolescence<\/p>\n

5.     They are compensating from underlying mental or emotional issues<\/p>\n

So, if you have a toxic person in your life, what do you do? Here\u2019s some ideas:<\/p>\n

Show love and acceptance<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Toxic people can be difficult to love and accept. But \u2026 ready for it? You<\/em> can be difficult to love and accept. Yet God loves and accepts you. If we receive that kind of grace from God, how can we not give it to others?<\/p>\n

Set healthy boundaries<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

While you need to love the person, you can set boundaries so they\u2019re not wounding you repeatedly. What kind of boundaries would be appropriate? It depends. The toxic person might be a co-worker you have to be around 9-5, or your teenager or spouse who you have to be around all the time except 9-5, or a relative you only see once a year. The toxic person might be someone who unintentionally makes you feel a little bad, or someone who deliberately causes you deep pain. Considering all the factors, what might healthy boundaries be for this particular person?<\/p>\n

Seek God\u2019s guidance<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

You are going to have some difficult decisions. Should I be around this person? What boundaries do I need? What if he or she hurts me? It will be easy to make those decisions based on the emotions you\u2019re feeling, but I want to encourage you to seek God\u2019s guidance. I love the prayer in 2 Chronicles 20:12, \u201cWe don\u2019t know what to do, but our eyes are upon you.\u201d I\u2019d encourage you to have that posture of humble dependence as you seek God\u2019s guidance.<\/p>\n

If you are struggling in a difficult relationship, the Renewing Life Center is here to help! Click here<\/span><\/a> to schedule an appointment with one of our caring counselors.<\/p>\n

Jennifer Antonucci, M.A., LMFT, LCADC<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Did you know the Oxford Dictionary annually names a \u201cWord of the Year\u201d? In 2018 it was \u2026 toxic. 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