{"id":288,"date":"2022-01-19T17:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-01-19T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/renewinglife.net\/forgiveness-what-it-is\/"},"modified":"2024-12-17T19:02:01","modified_gmt":"2024-12-17T19:02:01","slug":"forgiveness-what-it-is","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/renewinglife.net\/renewing-life-center-blog\/forgiveness-what-it-is\/","title":{"rendered":"Forgiveness: What It Is"},"content":{"rendered":"<div\n        class=\"\n          image-block-outer-wrapper\n          layout-caption-below\n          design-layout-inline\n          combination-animation-site-default\n          individual-animation-site-default\n          individual-text-animation-site-default\n        \"\n        data-test=\"image-block-inline-outer-wrapper\"\n    ><\/p>\n<figure\n            class=\"\n              sqs-block-image-figure\n              intrinsic\n            \"\n            style=\"max-width:2500px;\"\n        ><\/p>\n<div\n              \n              \n              class=\"image-block-wrapper\"\n              data-animation-role=\"image\"\n              \n  \n\n          ><\/p>\n<div class=\"sqs-image-shape-container-element\n              \n          \n        \n              has-aspect-ratio\n            \" style=\"\n                position: relative;\n                \n                  padding-bottom:66.5199966430664%;\n                \n                overflow: hidden;-webkit-mask-image: -webkit-radial-gradient(white, black);\n              \"\n              ><\/p>\n<p>                <img data-stretch=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/images.squarespace-cdn.com\/content\/v1\/5e3214bbf475476db309305b\/1642539789561-IQWPHGKF7DED0UHG0TQQ\/unsplash-image-oLYzJXvsSnE.jpg\" data-image=\"https:\/\/images.squarespace-cdn.com\/content\/v1\/5e3214bbf475476db309305b\/1642539789561-IQWPHGKF7DED0UHG0TQQ\/unsplash-image-oLYzJXvsSnE.jpg\" data-image-dimensions=\"2500x1663\" data-image-focal-point=\"0.5,0.5\" alt=\"\" data-load=\"false\" elementtiming=\"system-image-block\" src=\"https:\/\/images.squarespace-cdn.com\/content\/v1\/5e3214bbf475476db309305b\/1642539789561-IQWPHGKF7DED0UHG0TQQ\/unsplash-image-oLYzJXvsSnE.jpg\" width=\"2500\" height=\"1663\" alt=\"\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, (max-width: 767px) 100vw, 100vw\" style=\"display:block;object-fit: cover; width: 100%; height: 100%; object-position: 50% 50%\" onload=\"this.classList.add(&quot;loaded&quot;)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/images.squarespace-cdn.com\/content\/v1\/5e3214bbf475476db309305b\/1642539789561-IQWPHGKF7DED0UHG0TQQ\/unsplash-image-oLYzJXvsSnE.jpg?format=100w 100w, https:\/\/images.squarespace-cdn.com\/content\/v1\/5e3214bbf475476db309305b\/1642539789561-IQWPHGKF7DED0UHG0TQQ\/unsplash-image-oLYzJXvsSnE.jpg?format=300w 300w, https:\/\/images.squarespace-cdn.com\/content\/v1\/5e3214bbf475476db309305b\/1642539789561-IQWPHGKF7DED0UHG0TQQ\/unsplash-image-oLYzJXvsSnE.jpg?format=500w 500w, https:\/\/images.squarespace-cdn.com\/content\/v1\/5e3214bbf475476db309305b\/1642539789561-IQWPHGKF7DED0UHG0TQQ\/unsplash-image-oLYzJXvsSnE.jpg?format=750w 750w, https:\/\/images.squarespace-cdn.com\/content\/v1\/5e3214bbf475476db309305b\/1642539789561-IQWPHGKF7DED0UHG0TQQ\/unsplash-image-oLYzJXvsSnE.jpg?format=1000w 1000w, https:\/\/images.squarespace-cdn.com\/content\/v1\/5e3214bbf475476db309305b\/1642539789561-IQWPHGKF7DED0UHG0TQQ\/unsplash-image-oLYzJXvsSnE.jpg?format=1500w 1500w, https:\/\/images.squarespace-cdn.com\/content\/v1\/5e3214bbf475476db309305b\/1642539789561-IQWPHGKF7DED0UHG0TQQ\/unsplash-image-oLYzJXvsSnE.jpg?format=2500w 2500w\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-loader=\"sqs\"><\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/figure><\/div>\n<div class=\"sqs-html-content\">\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">\u201cTo forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.\u201d (Lewis B. Smedes)<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">\u201cThe weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.\u201d (Mahatma Gandhi)<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">This is my final blog in this series on forgiveness. If you missed the first one, click&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/renewinglife.net\/renewing-life-center-blog\/forgiveness-your-path-to-freedom\"><span style=\"text-decoration:underline\">here<\/span><\/a>&nbsp;to read it. Click&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/renewinglife.net\/renewing-life-center-blog\/forgiveness-what-it-isnt\"><span style=\"text-decoration:underline\">here<\/span><\/a>&nbsp;for the second post.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">Today I want to talk about what forgiveness&nbsp;<em>is<\/em>. And it\u2019s pretty exciting, because it should help you realize forgiving is something you want to and can do.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\"><strong>Forgiveness is releasing my hope for a better past.&nbsp;<\/strong>A lot of our inability to forgive stems from always thinking about what could have been, what should have been. But part of forgiveness is finally accepting, \u201c<em>This is what happened. And I can\u2019t change that. I wish I could, but I can\u2019t. And I\u2019ll never be able to. And so, I need to release my hope for a better past. The past I got is the past I have<\/em>.\u201d We need to do this not only because we can\u2019t change the past, but because if we continue to hold on to this bitterness about what happened and this feeling of, \u201c<em>Why couldn\u2019t it have been different<\/em>?\u201d it can ruin our future. When I forgive, I am releasing my hope for a better past.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\"><strong>Forgiveness is an action, not a feeling.<\/strong>&nbsp;If you\u2019re anything like me, your emotions are ever-changing and often fickle. Often, people wait to forgive until they \u201cfeel forgiving,\u201d but those feelings may never come. That\u2019s why forgiveness can\u2019t be based on feelings, it must be a decision.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\"><strong>Forgiveness is releasing my right to retaliate.<\/strong>&nbsp;Romans 12:17 says, \u201cDo not repay anyone evil for evil.\u201d This is really difficult. It\u2019s not natural to release my right to retaliate. Forgiving is an unnatural act. It goes against our instincts. And it\u2019s unfair. It\u2019s unfair to be expected to forgive someone who has wronged you. Forgiveness is unfair, but that\u2019s how God treated us. Not with fairness, but with grace. Grace means to give someone the opposite of what they deserve. Jesus forgave us for how we\u2019ve wronged God, for our sin. And He did it without us asking him to, without us making up for our wrongs first. We need to give that same grace to others.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">That\u2019s how we forgive.&nbsp;&nbsp;We realize God has offered us forgiveness, even though we didn\u2019t deserve it \u2013 and so we decide to treat others in the same way God treated us.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\"><strong>Forgiveness releases the power of Jesus into my life.&nbsp;<\/strong>I\u2019ll be honest, I like the idea of forgiving, but often I can\u2019t muster up that kind of strength on my own. I need God\u2019s help. And, because He loves us so much, God offers to release His power into our lives to help us when we make the decision to forgive.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\"><strong>Forgiveness is deciding to release a prisoner, and then realizing the prisoner was actually me<\/strong>. You may have read all this and thought,&nbsp;<em>OK, I understand what forgiveness is, but I still don\u2019t understand why. Why would I want to forgive?&nbsp;<\/em>It\u2019s because God doesn\u2019t ask us to forgive to heal the other person. He asks us to forgive to heal ourselves. Unforgiveness is a cancer that messes with us emotionally, mentally, and even physically. All kinds of studies have proven this. It\u2019s been said that not forgiving is like drinking rat poison, and then waiting for the rat to die. But the rat doesn\u2019t die. You do. You not forgiving isn\u2019t damaging the other person; it\u2019s damaging you. And forgiving that person won\u2019t set them free; it will set you free.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">With God\u2019s help, you can forgive. When you do, you will be free.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;white-space:pre-wrap;\" class=\"\"><strong>Here are some books on forgiveness I\u2019d recommend:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\"><span style=\"text-decoration:underline\">Forgiving What You Can&#8217;t Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That\u2019s Beautiful Again<\/span>&nbsp;by Lysa TerKeurst.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\"><span style=\"text-decoration:underline\">Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don&#8217;t Deserve<\/span>&nbsp;by Lewis B. Smedes.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\"><span style=\"text-decoration:underline\">The Gift of Forgiveness<\/span>&nbsp;by Katherine Schwarzenegger.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\"><span style=\"text-decoration:underline\">Getting Rid Of The Gorilla: Confessions on the Struggle to Forgive<\/span>&nbsp;by Brian Jones.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\"><span style=\"text-decoration:underline\">The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World<\/span>&nbsp;by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\">If you need help processing your pain and taking the journey of forgiveness, please call the Renewing Life Center at 702-434-7290 or click&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/renewinglife.net\/connect\"><span style=\"text-decoration:underline\">here<\/span><\/a>&nbsp;to schedule an appointment. We are here for you!<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" style=\"white-space:pre-wrap;\"><em>Jennifer Antonucci, M.A., LMFT, LCADC<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cTo forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.\u201d (Lewis B. Smedes) \u201cThe weak [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":289,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-288","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-renewing-life-center-blog"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Forgiveness: What It Is - Renewing Life Center<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/renewinglife.net\/renewing-life-center-blog\/forgiveness-what-it-is\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Forgiveness: What It Is - Renewing Life Center\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cTo forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.\u201d (Lewis B. 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