{"id":13,"date":"2020-07-01T16:11:05","date_gmt":"2020-07-01T16:11:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/renewinglife.net\/mirror-mirror-on-the-wall\/"},"modified":"2024-12-17T19:02:10","modified_gmt":"2024-12-17T19:02:10","slug":"mirror-mirror-on-the-wall","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/renewinglife.net\/renewing-life-center-blog\/mirror-mirror-on-the-wall\/","title":{"rendered":"Mirror, Mirror on the Wall"},"content":{"rendered":"<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
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Does it feel to you like the world has gone crazy? It has been a confusing, scary and intense year.<\/p>\n

During this challenging time, it\u2019s especially important to care for our children. They don\u2019t understand everything going on. They are so impressionable. Things can impact them deeply. Whether you are a parent, grandparent or caretaker, you need to protect your kids amidst the chaos.<\/p>\n

That might sound intimidating. You might think you don\u2019t have all the answers for all the questions on their mind. Good news: You don\u2019t have to. Sure, as a parent you sometimes have to be a teacher or a counselor, but even more, you are a mirror.<\/p>\n

Before moving to Las Vegas, we lived in Virginia Beach, Virginia.  Due to the climate, we had repeated problems with ant infestations in our home. I\u2019m going to be honest: I didn\u2019t handle it well. It\u2019s not that I am afraid of hordes of ants (well, maybe a little); it\u2019s that I found it so<\/em> frustrating. After five or ten times I started losing my ever-loving mind. I would see ants and start screaming, \u201cNoooo!!! Why?!?! I\u2019m going to lose it!!\u201d and I would run for my can of Raid. My 3-year-old son would see me freak out. He didn\u2019t understand frustration and misinterpreted it as fear. Because he thought I was afraid of the ants, he became afraid of the ants. When he saw ants in the house, he would start screaming, \u201cNoooo!\u201d and running \u2013 not to get a can of Raid \u2013 but to get away from the ants.<\/p>\n

My son mirrored my behavior. He mirrored what he believed were my emotions. That\u2019s what kids tend to do. They mirror the important adults in their lives. So, more essential than you being able to teach them the ins and outs of a viral pandemic, or counsel them on race relationships in our nation, you need to provide a calm, reassuring presence. They will see the peace you have in your life, and it will help them to have peace even in these chaotic times.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll answer the big question you may be asking in a minute, but before I do that, a few other thoughts to help you help your kids.<\/p>\n

Look for signs of stress in your kids. What might they be?<\/p>\n

\u00b7      Babies and toddlers will be crankier and more irritable than normal, and their sleep schedules may be impacted.<\/p>\n

\u00b7      Three to six-year-olds may regress and start wetting the bed or throwing temper tantrums more regularly. They may also experience separation anxiety.<\/p>\n

\u00b7      Seven to ten-year-olds may have trouble concentrating, and express anger or fear. <\/p>\n

\u00b7      Pre-teens and teens may act out, isolate or fight more with their family and friends. Also, beware that stressed out pre-teens and teens can turn to substance use to self-medicate.<\/p>\n

If your kids seem worried, or even if they don\u2019t, it will help if you:<\/p>\n

\u00b7      Check in on them regularly.<\/p>\n

\u00b7      Have empathy for how they\u2019re feeling.<\/p>\n

\u00b7      Limit the amount of news they are watching\/hearing. <\/p>\n

\u00b7      Let them grieve the loss of opportunities like graduation, sports and time with friends.<\/p>\n

\u00b7      Reassure them.<\/p>\n

\u00b7      Be calm and positive.<\/p>\n

\u00b7      Spend time with them.<\/p>\n

\u00b7      Have fun together.<\/p>\n

\u00b7      Maintain some of your normal routine and structure. <\/p>\n

All of that should help, but remember, more than anything what will impact how they process everything going on will be how they see you processing everything going on. And that leads to the big question: What if you\u2019re struggling? What if the example you are setting is less than perfect?<\/p>\n

Well, it will help you to know that children aren\u2019t looking for perfection. You need to have peace, not perfection. Your kids are looking for calm more than competence.<\/p>\n

If you are struggling to handle all the chaos in the world and in your life, you might be relieved to know the answer is not found in you; it\u2019s found in God. Look what Paul writes to people who were trying not to freak out. \u201cLet your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus\u201d  (Philippians 4:5-7).<\/p>\n

How can you show others, especially your kids, a gentle, calm demeanor? You realize that the Lord is near. How can you not be overcome by anxiety? You pray to the Lord who is near. If you do that, what happens? God\u2019s peace changes how you understand things and guards your heart and mind. Turn to God and let him transform the example you\u2019re setting for your kids.<\/p>\n

And \u2026 if you need more help, if you\u2019re thinking, \u201cI have prayed but I\u2019m still struggling!\u201d get some help. At the Renewing Life Center, we are here to help you deal with your stuff so you can learn how to have peace in a pandemic and calm even in the chaos. Get help for you, if you need it. And get help for your kids, because they are watching, and they will mirror your emotions and behavior.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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